Noor Jahan, a 72-year-old mother of five children, got married decades ago.
A resident of Kabul, she hoped her children would become her strength. However, they have left her high and dry.
Pajhwok conducted interviews with a number of mothers in Kabul on this National Mother’s Day (June 13).
Some of them commended their children’s caring and supportive behaviour. However, others complained of violence and insensitivity from their offspring.
Noor Jahan: I got married in high hopes that children will support me in old age. However, today, I am left all alone.
Living in Wazir Mohammad Akbar Khan neighbourhood, she married 40-years ago and has three sons and two daughters.
She told Pajhwok her children left her alone without qualms after her husband’s death in 2018.
“My daughters have got married and I visit their in-laws’ homes. After my husband’s passing, my sons went abroad.”
Her spouse was a trader and she has no problems from the economic point of view. But what hurts her is why children have left her alone and migrated to London and New York.
The widow continually expects her sons will ask about her situation, but there is no news from them.
And when she calls them, her sons reply they are tired and will definitely ask about their mother on days off.
“When a couple gets married, they hope their children will take care of them when they become old. And in the event of death, they will be buried with dignity.”
She believed the children who did not discharge their responsibilities would realise their mistake and take care of their parents before they died.
Noor Jahan’s son Ahmad Zubair, who is currently living abroad as a refugee, told Pajhwok he regularly spoke to his mother over the phone.
Without going into details, he said unemployment in the country had forced him to leave his mother alone.
A mom beaten by son
While travelling in public-transport vehicle, I saw an elderly woman with shaking hands. She got into the car and told the driver: “I have no money. Will you give me a lift to the police station?”
Her bandaged leg caught my attention. I asked her: “Mother what has happened to your leg? Where do you want to go? Isn’t there anyone to accompany you?”
Wiping her tears, she said: “I’m going to see Taliban and file a complaint against my son. I have no other option.”
A resident of Haji Nabi Township, she married 17 years ago and has given birth to a solitary son. She took great pains looking after her son.
She added: “My husband died two year after our marriage, I worked for many years in houses of people to feed and raise my son. I got him enrolled in school.
“After graduation, he completed his university education, I even arranged his marriage, but now I have no place in my home because of my son.”
Writhing in pain, the anguished woman said: “I decided against marrying for a second time because of my son. I sacrificed my youth, thinking my son will become my strength when I get old. But I had no idea he would jettison me after getting married.”
Pajhwok tried to contact her son on why he was disrespecting his mother, but it did not succeed.
But we did succeed in speaking to another man who maltreated his mother but now regrets his action.
Abdul Waheed (not a real name), who is currently living abroad, said: “I got married 35 years ago. My wife did not respect my mother, who knew we were trying to go abroad. She took her money back from me and cursed me. Then we came to Holland.”
He acknowledged: “On the way to another country, I paid for badly treating my mother. A car hit my only son and my wife separated from me. I regret what I did to my mother who is not alive now.”
He called on those whose parents are alive to treat them nicely.
Happy with her children
Shahnaz, 75, said: “I thank Allah for blessing me the best of children. I’m leading an honourable and prosperous life with them.”
Shahnaz said: “I married a man from a family of my relatives 55 years ago, Allah blessed us with four sons and five daughters. One of my sons has died while another has been martyred. Now I live with my only son and three single daughters. They treat me like a queen, Allah bless them all.”
Shahnaz’s daughter, Zakia Ibrahimi, commented: “My mother has done so much for me. If I serve her day and night and carry her on my shoulders, I still cannot return the services she has done me.”
Ibrahimi said: “I am married and have children, but I still love my mother. I go to her house, visit her and kiss her hands.”
Nargis from Kart-i-Naw area holds a similar view. She said: “I love my parents a lot, I respect them, never disrespect them at all.”
Nargis (22(, who works in a private office, believes prayers of her parents, especially mother, were always answered.
As she was getting ready for National Mother Day, she said: “Where ever we reached now is all because of the prayers of my mother, I never leave my house before my mother pray for me.”
Quran on caring for parents
On the rights of mother, religious scholar Maulvi Hasan Haqyar said: “Parents are respected in all religions of the world. But Islam gives them the highest respect. Mother’s tights are greater than father’s. Allah has underlined her rights repeatedly in the Quran.”
Haqyar said: “Paradise lies beneath the mother’s feet, which means no one can go to heaven against the wish of their mother. The Quran orders the believers not to say even uf to their parents, especially their mother.”
According to the Quran and Sunnah, obedience and service to parents offers the greatest reward in the world. Harassing parents was one of the biggest sins, Haqyar said.
“In Islam, no one has the right to leave parents alone. Parents raise their children. When they get old and weak, it is the duty of children to look after them and meet their needs. Almighty Allah has promised hell for those who do not respect and serve their parents.”
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